The Million Dollar Question

After a lot of pondering and on behalf of all the women in the world I’ve decided to put pen on paper and look for an answer to a particular man-woman issue that plagues all beginnings of relationships or rather mirages of relationships!

Man meets woman, man likes woman, man talks to woman, woman likes man, woman states her position, man with one mission in mind goes on to do what he does best when desperately in need of something – fabricates a story and it begs my question; WHY???
I’ve read a million and one notes about how women should know what it is a man is looking for from the get go, how if he wants you for who you are you’ll know from the very beginning, how we should listen to our heads and not hearts and all I have to say to all of that is bullsh*t! Yes we can think with both sides of our brains, multi task, push a baby out of a few inches of our veejayjay but we still can’t read minds or know what’s going on inside your head neither can we see through your eyes what made you walk up to us in the first place!There are basic questions that a woman (most women) ask when they meet a guy who they feel is “into” them, one of them being “Are you in any way involved with anyone else?” This is in no way a trick question, I can only liken it to asking if it’s raining outside so I can arm myself with an umbrella. When you say to me that its nice and sunny of course I’ll leave my brelly at home. Now how am I supposed to feel when I step out and get drenched to my knickers? What do you think your explanation can do for me then? What explanation could you possibly have in the first place? Of course my clothes will dry off but your “I’m sorry” definitely isn’t gonna do the trick! How about the people who’ll see me and snicker behind my back wondering if I didn’t hear the thunder roll and the lightening flash; will they all hear your apology?
When you look me point blank in the face and lie to me about one simple thing, how then do I believe and trust anything else you have to say? Would I be a b*tch if I asked you to go take a dip in a pirhana infested lake? Maybe if you’d let me know that it was raining I’d have still dared with an umbrella or a raincoat or even nothing at all but then I’d have been in the know on the flip side I might have just stayed in my dry and cosy cabana. Now you can’t know can you? All you do know is you’ve lost a friend or maybe I should say acquaintance ‘cos I know no friend of mine will let me out in the rain!
This applies to all men, rich poor, posh, drab, Greek gods and Quasimodos! For me, I’d rather be with someone who makes me happy that the whole world thinks is full of sh*t than to settle for “Mr. Stable and not so rich or good looking” who gets the worlds approval but will still do me the same. At least I know what I’m up against and know to go out with and umbrella even when the sun from the Sahara Desert has just moved into my neighbourhood!

Now an answer to all your explanations that I might not have been able to say in your face ‘cos I was trying so hard not to hurl a coffee cup at your head and because as I have learnt, my silence can make you squirm while my getting into a conversation with you might just get me to where I was before plus give you the gift of closure where you think we can carry on ‘cos you’ve explained away:

I’m sorry – Really? For lying or getting caught?
I really liked you and didn’t wanna scare you away/lose you – Well do you think you have me now?
I didn’t think it was a big deal – Then why did you lie?
She lives half way across the milkyway – Please get on a rocket and go join her!
We’re having issues – Buckle up, be a man and sort out your sh*t!

I’d like a crystal ball. That way I can figure y’all out and act as consultant for my sistahs and give y’all a lil less grief!

To all of you who have asked or even thought inside your head or out loud; i'm single straight and definitely not looking for you to "complete" me!