Yeah, growing up the only daughter of a Christian born again mother with 3 brothers who were absolutely adorable (to her, dont see what she sees in them, Lol) was a pain to say the least! So naturally i rebelled, turned into the monster teenager from hell and my mum matched me step for step! Kudos to her, i started dressing crazy and mouthing off and she promised to embarass me as many times as she could! I love her to death now but i could and would have sold her for a penny then and moved into a foster home. This is dedicated to mothers (and a few fathers) who brought us to maturity the most embarassing way they knew how!

In my early teens we lived in a mini estate and in the flat next to ours were these really hot guys all fresh in Uni living on their own. One evening my mum was going to church and saw me talking with them and shouted for all to hear that i could choose either to come to church with her or she'd lock me in her room till she got back 'cos she would only leave me with those guys over her dead body! Mortifying!!! From then on they would ignore me completely then check if my mum's car was in front of the house, if it wasn't (meaning she was out) then they'd talk to me, first sentence was always, " So where's the warden?"
Hmmmn, good old days!
PS. One of them went on to become a pastor and is my mum's fave, they still keep in touch after 15 years or so!

My mum had the responsibility of picking us up from school and one day i was busy talking about the assignment we'd been given (yeah right) with a class mate outside the school gate when my mama drives up and tells me...to the hearing of the whole school that as soon as the boy gets me pregnant then he'll stop walking me to the gate and i'll really know the wickedness of men. Then turned to the boy and informed him for whatever reason i'm yet to figure out that i have 3 brothers!

In the boobs department i was a late bloomer and then i just started to blow up like i was making up for lost time that it took my brain a while to catch up with what was going on with my body. On Christmans season we'd travelled to the village and my parents decided that i go out with them to seem some relatives i hadn't seen in a while, at this time my boobs seemed to bounce along with my steps but i didn't seem to notice and i guess i figured that if there was a problem my mum would have mentioned it; well this is the one time she stayed quiet. When my "uncle" mentioned that i'd grown so big and he probably wouldn't have recognized me if he hadn't seen me with my parents my dad started frowning and glared at my mum and said yes she's grown so big, why is she still not wearing a bra! I went to the car and sat there through the rest of the visit.

Birthday 1995, new house new neighbourhood so we decide to launch the house on my birthday with a party 'cos my parents were going for some meeting to plan a family friends funeral or some village thing or the other. Booze has been bought by my big bro and hidden around, my mum had cooked and baked "for my 5 friends" who i'd told her would be coming. Then someone comes and tells them the meeting has been cancelled. I almost had a stroke at 14! I go to my mum and confess that we had also invited 5 other new neighbours and she promises to talk to my dad. Well long story short, people didn't start coming until 6 (my dad had said he wanted his house empty at 7 so that he could read his paper at watch News Line), the house was full of guys at least 20 years old from all around the neighbourhood, i think a couple of them were smoking, they were loud, my friend and even my big bro and i looked so little and helpless as they had taken over the house. My dad walks in and tells me how dissappointed he is in me that for friends i have men who should have wives and children at home and then announced that he has a gun and would come down with it if his house isn't empty in the next 2 mins!

1998, Mum stands at the balcony as a male friend (of course) drops me off from JAMB Prep classes and asks him to dare touch me or even chat for a sec and see how hot oil is when boiled...and she dares wonder why i'm still single..they still scared of the oil mama...

Mum bought me the most abominable yellow pants suit to wear for my matriculation in Uni as i insisted that i'd wear trousers... Nuff said!